4 words: hood of his car
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
