Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
