bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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