you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Randomize
