hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize