Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
