Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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