No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
