whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
