you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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