Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
