omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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