so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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