The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
