Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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