I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
