oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
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