I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
