i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
