apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize