no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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