you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
