I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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