Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
