you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
