haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
They have beer where we have blood.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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