Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Randomize
