you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
