Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Terrible idea I love it
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize