remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize