If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
