If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
