It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Found your dick twin last night
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize