I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
