Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
