i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
