i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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