oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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