So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
