No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
