You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
