i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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