Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
