i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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