Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
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