get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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