i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
