The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Less talking, more tequila
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
