he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize