Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think my moral compass just broke
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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