I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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