Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
