Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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