I faked an abortion last night.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
