Small penises have feelings too.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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