So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
