if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
