i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
please come you make the beer taste better
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize