i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
