drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
